Well, I used to be an actor but I could never remember my lines

When I was a kid I always drew lines for myself across which I swore I would never venture. Amongst other things, these boundaries included drinking, smoking and gambling. But, as time went on, these lines were pushed from never to maybe-just-this-once to well-it's-a-special-occasion to who-the-fuck-am-i-kidding-give-me-two.

But the one line that lasted the longest was sports gambling. That was a line I would not touch. Considering the trouble some of my family members had encountered with this vice, I drew that line in indelible ink. But, what those fuckers at Sharpie don't tell you is that indelible ink fades with time. Which is why an article like this has the capability of completely shattering my world.

Fuckin' government, always messing with my lines and shit.

[note: for some reason, after much frustration and anxiety, the way I dealt with this problem was by putting the remaining balance of my account on the Ravens this Monday Night. I now feel like I'm going to vomit.]